Scared of traffic ? No bike infrastructure ? Too Far ? Helmet hair ?


Fuck it, ride anyway

Oops, my bad

Dear Car Driver from this morning,

I note the demolition and excavation trucks were all over our local streets this morning, caught mid lane-change so they effectively took up two lanes, and caused a back-up of stationary car traffic far further back along our main road than usual.

I note that in filtering through this clusterfuck at a walking pace, that my rubber-clad handlebar touched your wing-mirror, making a sort of a "thwack" sound.

This is the face you pulled;

shocked bloke.jpg


May I point out that I immediately stopped and apologised ? Like this;


But that you continued to make this face at me;

shocked bloke.jpg

So I kind of made this face back;


After literally a full minute you continued with this face;

shocked bloke.jpg

Ultimately forcing me to pull this face;


Look pal, I touched a piece of plastic on your car at an extremely slow pace, with a piece of soft rubber. Nothing was broken, I'd be surprised if you could show me it even left a mark.

The overly dramatic reaction, the huffing, the OMG of it all  - all of that just made me lose any sincere regret for my error in judging the gap between you and the other peak-hour hog driver, and just made me not give a fuck about you or your stupid car.

You're a 40 year-old white dude driving a car with "Blossy" personalised number-plates.

Examine your life choices.