Scared of traffic ? No bike infrastructure ? Too Far ? Helmet hair ?


Fuck it, ride anyway

I'm just saying ...

Never give up a planned bike ride to go have dinner with someone; the restaurant will have closed down in the month since you were last there & loved it, there will be nowhere else in Sydney you both want to eat at where you can safely leave your bike, by the time all this comes to light and if you left now it would be 10pm by the time you arrived home on your bike, so instead you will be forced to take your bike on the train with all the angry peasants.

Today was a waste of an early mark and a good bike ride.

Stay true to your first love.


Well, that's a lot to unpack

Oh muh god, this is such classic Barry Larry Terry !

JFC though, is this the poster child for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or what ?

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"Unlawful possession of a racoon" ?   Bloody cyclists.

But hey, been there, got the t-shirt.

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We know the design of SUVs kills pedestrians - why are we still allowing them to be sold ?

Why are big square-nosed SUVs everywhere? Because people love them and they sell. 

Those front-end features that kill and maim pedestrians are, there's no other word for it, popular with consumers. The critical design factor of the high front end pushes people below the wheels instead of over the hood the way lower model cars do.

In 2015, researchers at the University of Michigan determined that pedestrians are more than three times as likely to be killed when struck by an SUV than when struck by a regular car. Researchers in pedestrian safety in SUV collisions have been  warning about the front end design of SUVs since 2003.

Keith Bradsher is the author of High and Mighty: The Dangerous Rise of the SUV  - download your Kindle edition now, and see if you can tie in these statements with SUV drivers you know and possibly love.


SUV drivers are similar to minivan drivers demographically, but they are more “self-oriented” psychologically, Bradsher has written. They are more fearful of crime, less likely to be involved in their communities, and less committed to their families, he wrote.

Minivan buyers tend to be more comfortable than sport utility buyers with being married; sport utility buyers are more commonly concerned with still feeling sexy, and like the idea that they could use their vehicles to start dating again.

In 2000, DaimlerChrysler Director of Market Research David Bostwick told Bradsher (click through to full article) that for consumers, ”It’s not safety as the issue, it’s aggressiveness, it’s the ability to go off the road.” Research also showed that SUV owners drive faster and place a lower value on being courteous on the road.

SUVs are designed specifically to appeal to this psychological profile, executives admitted:

DaimlerChrysler has chosen high-riding designs even for the two-wheel-drive versions of its sport utilities, even though they are unlikely to be driven over rough terrain and are therefore unlikely to need to ride higher, said David C. McKinnon, DaimlerChrysler’s director of vehicle exterior design. Mr. McKinnon said the company’s highest executives had told him repeatedly to ‘get them up in the air and make them husky.’

Up in the air, where drivers can't see dogs, or little kids.

Just great isn't it ?



Ego actually is a dirty word

Another glorious ride home, another middle-aged man with an incipient heart-attack left in my wake.

I'm riding homewards, and it is just the nicest day to be out of the office a smidge early and on one's bicycle - not too hot, the wind is a tailwind or a sidewind, but thankfully never a headwind.

After a little rust-bucket tries to change lane on me; as in literally on me, and I direct a cheery little stream of profanity into their open passenger window, I shrug and give up on my fellow hoomins and pop on over to the adjacent bike lane. I'm pretty mellow this early in the cyclist hunting season.

Why was I not already in the bike lane, you may ask ? Because it is in absolute shit repair, it's a shared walking/cycling path, strewn with abandoned shopping trolleys, potholes, inexplicable drifts of sand and gravel and pedestrians who walk five abreast ignoring our mandatory bike bells - in other words it's a bloody disgrace. And also because it's not mandatory to ride in a bike lane.

So I bip on over and join this dude waiting at the lights on the bike path. I think I've seen him around, and I suspect from seeing him in passing he has an e-bike. I think not much more of him than that; lights change, off we go.

Of course I'm out in the lead, because my bike is awesome. I see an approaching pedestrian, walking on the wrong side of the lane naturally, and I go to change lane to allow them to pass without disturbing them, but I can't, because old mate from the lights is suddenly riding in parallel with me; he's in the wrong lane, huffing and puffing mightily and very red in the face, and more importantly boxing me in so I can't move for the walker. I look sideways at him in amazement, but he won't  move.

The pedestrian steps off onto the grass, no doubt going home to write in their blog about "bloody cyclists" racing through Macquarie Uni.

Eh. Sometimes one races, and sometimes races are thrust upon one.

I SMH, and actually put some effort into it, and leave him and his red face and flying droplets of sweat behind. I don't mind chatting about my bike's capabilities, and I'll happily cop to it being electric, but don't try and shoulder me off a path and expect me to drop back to protect your ego. Yeah, c'mon, if you think you're good enough. Just don't be a dick about it.

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He chased me all throughout Macquarie until I entered the National Park and he dropped further and further behind in my rear-view mirror. I vaguely hoped I wasn't leaving a corpse by the path side for the next cyclist to have to bunny-hop over.  

I got home and patted my bike fondly. 










Who trolls a Glitter Boob March ?

Bedwetters who probably still live at home with their parents have threatened violence against marchers in New Zealand's upcoming "Glitter Boob March".

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But the trolls make a good point; any imbecile mouth-breather can take a car and murder a group of people.

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And to make a no-doubt empty brag that that's what you're going to do to a group of women ?

Pathetic waste of human skin.

I'm all for finding you, locking you in your beloved car, and sending it off to the crushers.


Buh-bye, tosser.



Seriously, Bicycle Queensland can go get fucked

After a recent survey finding that Queensland cyclists were terrified of local motorists, the PR-disaster is that is Anne (not-so) Savage of Bicycle Queensland came up with this little gem for the ages;


Where to start !? So many wrong wrong wrong concepts in one statement.

Oh, okay, let's unpack "Ride White".  Obvs no-one at Bicycle Queensland read the news in 2017, because this campaign went soooo well for Nivea last year;

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So thanks BQ, for associating cyclists with White Supremacist hate groups, like we don't have enough problems already. Good work !

Skin as smooth as a baby

Skin as smooth as a baby


"Fly the White Flag". Why stop there ? Why not suggest we all wear "The White Feather" ? Again, no students of history at BQ, or are there ? Are we just dealing with a bunch of white-shoe-wearing, Mango-eating, Toad-licking surrender monkeys ? Bah. A pox on the lot of you.


And the classiest move of all, the appropriation of the hashtag #WhiteHelmets ?

The White Helmets, officially known as Syria Civil Defence is a volunteer organisation that operates in parts of rebel-controlled Syria and in Turkey. The majority of their activity in Syria consists of urban search and rescue in response to bombing, medical evacuation, evacuation of civilians from danger areas, and essential service delivery. 159 White Helmets have been killed since the organisation's inception.

So yeah, steal the name of some of the bravest volunteers the human race has to offer for your shitty victim-blaming bike campaign. Anything other than demand better enforcement of road rules by our police forces and legal system.

Seriously Bicycle Queensland, rethink your life choices.




Charmed, I'm sure

During Sprocketman's month off, which intersected quite nicely with the maximum two days running without interruption I managed from Spokes(wo)man Global Financial Industries; we went and had lunch together.

This is quite the novelty for us. We sat at an outdoor table at one of our favourite Thai restaurants, which sadly borders on the carpark for that strip of restaurants and shops. But, still school holidays so the carpark was practically empty, and certainly the twenty or so spaces in front of the restaurant, next to our table, were.

Volcanic Chicken, to go with my mood.

Volcanic Chicken, to go with my mood.

Until. A big ute arrived, parked right in front of our table and left the engine running. And running. And running. Aaaand running.

Finally we looked through the cloud of exhaust to see what the wanker from "Jamie's Gardens" was actually doing. Reading his phone. Great.

Just as we were about to walk over, tap on the window and ask him to switch his engine off or hey, just piss off, he jumped out of the cab and collected his takeaway, then drove away, no doubt to blight someone else's life.  

Ten minutes later a woman with kids came and did the same thing - this time we made a few gestures, apparently the right ones because she drove off much faster.

But seriously, who does that ? Parks next to an outdoor restaurant table and leaves their engine running.

Entitled, thoughtless.